[This is a true story] [Ominous low music]
There once was a little girl named Jude, who studied very hard indeed, for she had a nasty exam. And after she had procrastinated enough to be so bored of procrastination that the sheer dullness of it all had led her over the edge that separated not-studying from studying, she read. And read. And read. Until she was tired of reading. And that was just the first hour.
That first hour was followed by many, many, many more hours and days, until two weeks had gone by, and the exam loomed, ever so terrifying and big.
And little Jude was scared, because she couldn't really remember much of that first hour, or of the many hours that had followed. So she started writing it all down, which wasn't a very good method to begin on the day before the exam. Finally, she simply shut down her brain to all outside reality, and for 4 interminable hours devoted her whole being to perusing everything again with every neuron wide awake. This is a last-resort studying capacity of Jude's that she is rather proud of, because she can actually feel her grey matter humming and whirring, like an expensive SUV that someone was dumb enough to drive in the beach.
After that, she slept 5 hours and had a very good piece of spinach pie that she wasn't able to enjoy due to the caffeine surplus and very thin, taut string keeping her nerves in a bundle. Ten minutes later little Jude's father drove her to school, where she discussed with her friends at length on the relative strength of her own knowledge and memory (they said she knew enough, she wasn't so sure. She has a tendency to overestimate the amount of dedication others put into study, and therefore deems her own efforts insufficient). She silently absorbed the essence of a few more pages. Lenin, NEP, origins of capitalism, Dobb-Sweezy, gold-exchange standard, pax britannica, letter of exchange, Wilson, mumble-jumble.
A member of the administrative staff started calling out names. Jude's last name starts with a G, so she wasn't in a hurry. Half an hour later, they started calling out her last name. There were approximately 13 people with her last name registered to take the exam. Their names were called out one by one, and they each approached the door and provided their ID for identification purposes and received blank pages to write on and then entered. Jude waited. Now was the time. Oh well, she thought. I just want to get this over with. I'll do fine. In three hours it'll all be over.
However, soon the 13 names had been called out, and the man started calling out another last name. Little Jude blinked. She hesitated. Finally she walked to the door and asked the man to check if she wasn't on the list. She wasn't. He said, go to Administration and find out. She said, thank you. She wasn't worried. It must be a mistake.
She knocked on Administration. They let her in. They said, give me your ID and I'll check on the computer. Little Jude complied. They asked, you did enroll in this course, right? Little Jude's heart skipped a beat. She said, no. They said, you didn't? She repeated, no. I didn't know I had to. I enrolled to the career, but since this course had no practical classes... They said, you should have, you always have bla bla bla courses with midterm exams all require bla bla bla. Little Jude, not rudely, interrupted, is there anything I can do now? They said, no. She insisted, nothing at all? No. You can enroll next year or take the full exam in July. Little Jude felt a little dazed. She said, thank you. She walked out. She called her Mom. She said, come pick me up, I wasn't registered.
A month later, when the results came back (for all the other people who had remembered to register, of course), she learned that almost everyone had passed, even the ones who had studied from a bogus synthesis of the class notes.
That was three months ago. Today, little Jude started to study all over again. This time, not only has she to re-read and re-absorb the plentiful bounty of pages from before, but also has she to read the same amount of other, new and exciting books that she wasn't required to study last time.
Oh bliss, she thinks.
If she had remembered that teeny tiny inscription detail, she would only need to write a ten-page paper on a subject of her choosing.
[some people have found this story funny. Little Jude has not, did not, and does not. However, you are quite welcome to laugh at her expense]
There once was a little girl named Jude, who studied very hard indeed, for she had a nasty exam. And after she had procrastinated enough to be so bored of procrastination that the sheer dullness of it all had led her over the edge that separated not-studying from studying, she read. And read. And read. Until she was tired of reading. And that was just the first hour.
That first hour was followed by many, many, many more hours and days, until two weeks had gone by, and the exam loomed, ever so terrifying and big.
And little Jude was scared, because she couldn't really remember much of that first hour, or of the many hours that had followed. So she started writing it all down, which wasn't a very good method to begin on the day before the exam. Finally, she simply shut down her brain to all outside reality, and for 4 interminable hours devoted her whole being to perusing everything again with every neuron wide awake. This is a last-resort studying capacity of Jude's that she is rather proud of, because she can actually feel her grey matter humming and whirring, like an expensive SUV that someone was dumb enough to drive in the beach.
After that, she slept 5 hours and had a very good piece of spinach pie that she wasn't able to enjoy due to the caffeine surplus and very thin, taut string keeping her nerves in a bundle. Ten minutes later little Jude's father drove her to school, where she discussed with her friends at length on the relative strength of her own knowledge and memory (they said she knew enough, she wasn't so sure. She has a tendency to overestimate the amount of dedication others put into study, and therefore deems her own efforts insufficient). She silently absorbed the essence of a few more pages. Lenin, NEP, origins of capitalism, Dobb-Sweezy, gold-exchange standard, pax britannica, letter of exchange, Wilson, mumble-jumble.
A member of the administrative staff started calling out names. Jude's last name starts with a G, so she wasn't in a hurry. Half an hour later, they started calling out her last name. There were approximately 13 people with her last name registered to take the exam. Their names were called out one by one, and they each approached the door and provided their ID for identification purposes and received blank pages to write on and then entered. Jude waited. Now was the time. Oh well, she thought. I just want to get this over with. I'll do fine. In three hours it'll all be over.
However, soon the 13 names had been called out, and the man started calling out another last name. Little Jude blinked. She hesitated. Finally she walked to the door and asked the man to check if she wasn't on the list. She wasn't. He said, go to Administration and find out. She said, thank you. She wasn't worried. It must be a mistake.
She knocked on Administration. They let her in. They said, give me your ID and I'll check on the computer. Little Jude complied. They asked, you did enroll in this course, right? Little Jude's heart skipped a beat. She said, no. They said, you didn't? She repeated, no. I didn't know I had to. I enrolled to the career, but since this course had no practical classes... They said, you should have, you always have bla bla bla courses with midterm exams all require bla bla bla. Little Jude, not rudely, interrupted, is there anything I can do now? They said, no. She insisted, nothing at all? No. You can enroll next year or take the full exam in July. Little Jude felt a little dazed. She said, thank you. She walked out. She called her Mom. She said, come pick me up, I wasn't registered.
A month later, when the results came back (for all the other people who had remembered to register, of course), she learned that almost everyone had passed, even the ones who had studied from a bogus synthesis of the class notes.
That was three months ago. Today, little Jude started to study all over again. This time, not only has she to re-read and re-absorb the plentiful bounty of pages from before, but also has she to read the same amount of other, new and exciting books that she wasn't required to study last time.
Oh bliss, she thinks.
If she had remembered that teeny tiny inscription detail, she would only need to write a ten-page paper on a subject of her choosing.
[some people have found this story funny. Little Jude has not, did not, and does not. However, you are quite welcome to laugh at her expense]
posted by jude at 3:48 pm
4 Comments:
Well... Ignorance isn't bliss in this case I guess... *chuckles*
Long live the beaurocracy! This was an amusing read -- amusing in the sense that "Thank my lucky stars that this didn't happen to me -- but I fully understand why little Jude doesn't find this funny.
It's similar to how I feel when the topic of my absent-mindedness comes about.
That is, as the net kiddies put it, teh suck
Thanks for the explanation of "caro." I remember the refrain in the song which goes "Oh Caro." I knew that I had heard the word before, but wasn't sure what it meant.
Unfortunately, I hadn't heard of the brand of underwear brand "caro cuore" until now.
I'm learning something new everyday!
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