A promise is a promise, so, with severe forebodings of inminent writer's block, here goes:

"Cockroaches: exposed"

If I were a stand-up comedian, which of course I'm not, I am sure cockroaches would be a fixed part of my repertoire, source of the jokes to fall back on when the folks in the back are dancing with wild abandon and the people in front are merely staring in my general direction because that's the way the tables are placed.

We've all heard one or two, I'm sure. However, I remembered none, so I looked it up, and found several, including this rather vindictive story of roach revenge:
It appears that an Israeli woman found a cockroach in her living room and summoned the courage to step on it (no mean feat, from my cowardly viewpoint).
The creature, however, refused to terminate its existence, if only out of spite for so rude a host. The lady then proceeded --by what means I don't care to know-- to place it in the toilet and spray an entire can of insecticide on it, presumably to ensure its painful passage to the afterlife (though for all I know, maybe she liked the smell).
That night, her husband comes home apparently suffering from a serious head cold, enters the toilet and lights a cigarette (hiding the habit? trying to quit? deceiving the missus?). When he throws the (cigarette) butt into the bowl the fireworks begin with a vengeance. The poor man's derrière is naturally affected. But, as if that weren't enough, when the paramedics arrive to aid him, they start laughing so hard at this unfortunate event that they drop the stretcher, breaking the man's pelvis.

Now, in a desperate attempt to show versatility, I'll try the next one in stand-up comedy style (you have been warned):
"Good night everybody! All right?! So, is it raining or what?!? Craazy out there!! I swear I saw Lassie chasing a siamese through the clouds, it's really pouring! Yeah, and I got delayed cause I was at a party, you know? A friend of mine just finished his thesis and he did a little get-together. Real smart guy. You know, he couldn't figure out what to do his thesis on at first, so he was just sort of lounging around, thinking about it, and he saw a cockroach on top of his desk --you know, I really can't stand the things, but he's really into insects and that sort of stuff-- anyway, he decides he's gonna base his thesis on cockroaches, and decides he's got to do an experiment, so he tells the cockroach "Run!". And the thing runs, great, better than my dog anyway who just looks at me when I say Fetch! So he goes and pulls out one of its legs and puts it back on the desk and says Run! and it runs just like before, so he goes OK, great, and pulls out another leg, and you should see the roach go! It's on fire! So my friend goes and pulls the third leg and yells, and the thing goes at it like mad, maybe a little slower, but that's all, and it's running on ONE leg. Finally he pulls out the last leg, and yells RUN! and the thing just twitches a bit but it doesn't move. So my friend, he's all happy, and he writes his thesis: "When you out all the legs of a cockroach, it cannot hear you anymore" (... time for laughter) How's that?! Huh?! I think he got an A. Real smart guy my friend. You know he had this girlfriend, and his mother-in-law on his birthday..."

Well? Should I not quit my day job? I rather think not. And, since I can't help myself, I'd like to point out that cockroaches don't really have 4 legs, they actually have 18 (but telling the joke in that scenario would be rather unbearable, I'm afraid. Just goes to show you the benefits of artistic license)

Up next, I'll make a quick tour of my own roach-related life experiences and possibly write my own comments so the posts won't look so lonely -- cheers!